You just concluded another therapy session, replaying the conversation in your mind. Did anything really change this week? You've been attending sessions for weeks, doing the work, showing up—but you still feel stuck in the same patterns. The question creeps in: 

Is this even working?

If you've ever felt this way, you're not alone. Feeling like progress is painfully slow is one of the most common—and most frustrating—parts of therapy. The good news? Slow doesn't mean stuck, and doubt doesn't mean failure. Here are practical ways to recognize progress and maintain hope.

Why Progress Feels Slow (Even When It's Happening)

The gap between knowing and doing is wide. You might understand intellectually that you need better boundaries or healthier communication. But doing it in the heat of the moment? That takes time and practice.

Therapy isn't linear. Real change looks like a zigzag. Good weeks and hard weeks. Breakthroughs and setbacks. Two steps forward, one step back isn't failure—it's how growth works.

Old patterns are deeply grooved. Your coping strategies have been practiced for years, maybe decades. Building new neural pathways takes repetition. You're literally rewiring your brain.

We notice setbacks more than subtle wins. Our brains are wired to pay attention to what's wrong. Slip-ups feel massive. But tiny improvements? Those fly under the radar, even though they're adding up.

What Progress Actually Looks Like

Progress isn't always dramatic. It shows up in subtle ways:

• Catching yourself mid-pattern. You still fell into the argument, but you noticed it happening. That awareness is progress.

• Faster recovery time. The anxious episode lasted hours instead of days. You repaired the fight that evening instead of staying angry for a week.

• Naming what's happening. You can identify the trigger, the emotion, the pattern. That's huge, even if you can't control it yet.

• Trying something new. You attempted that communication technique, even though it felt awkward. First times always feel awkward—that's courage, not failure.

Examples across contexts:

• Couples: "We argued but took a break before it escalated, then actually came back to it instead of sweeping it away."

• Individuals: "I had the catastrophic thought, but didn't spend hours googling symptoms."

• Families: "My teen rolled their eyes but then actually told me about their day."

How to Track the Small Wins

Keep a "therapy wins" journal. Once a week or after each session, jot down one or two things you did differently, noticed, or tried:

• "Spoke up when hurt instead of shutting down."

• "Noticed my body tensing before getting defensive."

• "Asked for what I needed even though it felt scary."

Ask yourself regularly: 

• What did I do differently this week?

• What would past-me have done?

• What felt hard, but I did it anyway?

Managing Expectations: Realistic Timelines

Early changes (6-8 sessions): Small shifts in awareness, comfort in therapy, occasional pattern recognition. You're building foundations, not fixing everything.

Deeper changes (3-6 months or longer): The entrenched patterns—conflict responses, emotional regulation, relationship dynamics—take sustained work. You're unlearning old habits and building new ones.

Know the difference. Slow progress with occasional breakthroughs is normal. Feeling consistently unheard or going in circles with zero movement might signal it's time to talk with your therapist about what's happening.

What to Do When You're Really Stuck

If you're genuinely stuck—not just impatient, but truly stuck—talk about it with your therapist. They can't read your mind.

Questions to bring to your next session: 

• "What progress are you seeing that I might not notice?"

• "Are we working on the right things?"

• "What should I be practicing between sessions?"

The Long View

Doubt doesn't mean failure. Wondering if therapy is working doesn't mean it isn't. The fact that you're asking these questions shows you're engaged and paying attention.

Progress often becomes visible only in hindsight. Six months from now, you might look back and realize how much has shifted. Trust the process while staying curious about your experience.

Change is slow, but slow doesn't mean stuck. Keep showing up. Keep tracking those small wins. And talk to your therapist when you need to—you deserve support for the journey itself, not just the issues that brought you here.